by Sidney S. Stark
In doing some research for my novel recently I came across an aphorism that made me stop and think. Ordinarily that would be an oxymoron in its own right. Isn’t the whole point of an aphorism to supply the requisite comment without any conscious effort? The recipient of the remark is also supposed to give it little or no thought. It was only for about two weeks after 9/11 that I noticed everyone in New York City thought about these phrases and they were weighty with meaning. ‘Take care’ and ‘have a good day’ suddenly became the most seriously considered counsel, no matter who gave it or whom it was meant for. Although I also noticed they slipped back into their familiar old shrouds soon after, and people stopped really hearing them again as you might expect.
For my novel I wanted to find the phrases common to any British man who’s lived a long life past middle age; the kind of sayings that would be almost in-born they’re so familiar. I already knew a number of them since I have many British friends living in this country as well as abroad; but I felt there would be some sayings I’d like to use for my character that might not come to mind without a search. I came across many whose meanings are the same as those we use in the USA, but where the actual words are different enough to evoke a unique image. My favorite of these is ‘mind how you go’.
When ‘mind how you go’ is offered to someone leaving a party or a child about to embark on a walk over wet rocks it clearly means ‘drive carefully’ or ‘be careful’, respectively. But as mundane and common as these all become when said at times less poignant than those surrounding the events of 9/11, somehow the directive to ‘mind how you go’ seems more powerful to me. Maybe its slightly foreign tone singles it out because its familiarity (which I have none of) could never breed my contempt. And yet for me, it’s the consideration of the actual directive that focuses my attention. Even if it only means ‘be careful’, what is it actually telling the recipient to do? I think to be mindful and fully present as you make your way through life is the more powerful message lurking just below the surface. The opacity of the phrase actually causes you to stop short and think about it instead of simply responding, “I will”. It isn’t so easy to be truly mindful of your living at all times and therefore it’s not so easy to come back with the expected retort.
Considering the scene I want to use this in for my novel, I can see the character tossing it out with the usual aplomb accompanied by a glance to rivet his conversational partner. It’s a lot easier to do that when you’re admonishing someone to ‘mind how you go’ instead of simply to ‘take care’. And it’s not just because of the different cadence one expects to find in the speech of a foreigner from a different culture, even if they are speaking the same language. I think it’s because of the depth of commitment required for the advisee to respond, “I will”. I believe the reply to it from the protagonist in my novel will be, “I always do”; but I’m not sure yet. I’ll have to give it more thought. Why don’t you plan to read it when it’s finished to find out?
Question @ You- Do you think it’s important to be mindful of your living on a daily basis? Can you do it?